Sunday, June 16, 2013

Jim Rogers versus the Man-With-Bread

It is August 2017, after having overcome yet another major financial crisis and having survived another devastating bird flu epidemic, Jim Rogers flies first class across the ocean in a sparkling NetJets’ plane chartered from his buddy WB. Suddenly a small explosion and the GE turbine on the jet failed. The plane crashed into the tropical ocean. Jim grabs a gold bar and efficiently abandons the plane. No panic, he has meticulously examined the flight path and knows that he is within 100m from an uninhabited island.

Competently Jim with his gold bar reaches the pristine shores of the island where he finds a fellow survivor who had grabbed a bread prior to his escape from the crashed jet. Jim says, "I am hungry, here take my gold bar, the universal currency of the world, in exchange for your bread."
The Man-With-Bread laughs and says ‘No Way, I cannot live of gold, but I can eat bread and survive a bit longer. Hahaha, what is your gold worth now?” Jim Rogers picks up his gold bar and bashes the head of the Man-With-Bread until the sucker is dead. “Hahaha… “ , says Jim, “Now I own the gold and the bread! That is at least a 100% ROI!”
A week later, after consuming the last bread crumb, Jim dies from thirst and starvation. He lost 45 pounds during those last 7 days and was considering selling his new Jim Roger’s diet for a healthy profit. But alas! Now even Jim is gone.
At that moment a mud crab crawls onto  the beach and starts to nibble on Jim’s left toe. The crab smiles and says to itself: “Hahaha. I am the richest crab around here”. But you and I know that crabs cannot really talk nor think – they have no brains after all!. Shhhh… don’t crush the crab’s self-esteem!
At that very moment a Japanese fishing trailer comes by and scoops up the mud crab in its fishing nets. The Japanese empress who owns the trailer mutters to herself, “Hahaha, who is now the richest nation in the world? BTW there’s oil below this island and we’re going to use it to fuel our society’s economy.”
“Not so”, say the Germans, "We need that oil to transport our Mercedes to China." They launch a nuclear war against Japan. Who supported by the U.S. retaliates. Next the Russians and Chinese react and 10 minutes later after a war of deterrence the world is flattened…
Except for North Korea; Kim Jong-un’s nuclear missiles failed to launch. Besides, the other countries of the world were all too busy to retaliate against each other. The radio is silent in Kim Jong-un’s office. Despite the fact that he is now the richest and most powerful man on the planet, he can no longer listen to radio broadcasts about his favorite baseball player, Dennis Rodman. The latter did not survive the nukes launched against the almighty U.S.
Just at that moment the radio comes to life: “We are the Borg, resistance is futile!” While Kim Jong-un’s last hair is being assimilated the radio comes back to life one more time. Amidst static noise it can be barely heard: “We are Wall Street Bankers. Do you pay annual performance bonuses? By the way, we recommend buying gold.”

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