Monday, May 21, 2018

Portfolio Gardener

That is the title of my new e-book on investing. It is a compilation of blog posts with current comments added. The posts are not in chronological order but arranged by topic. Because the posts are short discussions on various investment topics that stand often on their own, the reader can read the book from front to back but he or she (should I ad an it?) can also peruse the book and just pick what peaks the interest (It is darn difficult to write gender neutral and not repeating she-he-it or making it more random it-he-she). I for one, feel really that there is a heck of a difference between a female or male or for that matter an it. If we include an ‘it’ as a person then all two sexes and the non-sex should have the same rights and if practical the same duties. Now, do women have a duty to get pregnant and does the male have a duty to impregnate?  Thank the-you-know-who (I cannot really refer to God because someone may get offended…) So, Thank the-you-know-who that this is a post about investing. Thus I don’t have to go into that minefield. But… when I say Portfolio Gardener, maybe I should title the book Portfolio Gardenersterit. 😊 There is a limit to my gender neutrality – but I suggest the reader convert Gardener according to his-her-its preference and let’s get on with investing.

I love to sit on my patio in summer with a nice cup of coffee or on special occasions, I program my Magnifico to make me a cappuccino. On a cold morning or in winter, I sit inside and often after a nice pancake (Dutch style, i.e. appel pannekoek) breakfast with eggs and bacon (not so Dutch), I contemplate life often from an investor’s perspective. When riled up enough, I grab the keyboard on my laptop which can be folded into a tablet and I start formulating my thoughts into a post for my financial diary, i.e. this blog.  I love to mosey around with my thoughts and somehow still end up with a (somewhat) coherent story. After all, I am not of the Abstract School. 😊 So no wonder, that in this post I wander (I think, I am going to add poetry to my posts as well – No 😊). So no wonder, I wander from gender neutrality to this paragraph on my patio to my new residence (see next paragraph) to introducing my ‘Portfolio Gardener’ e-book. And… if you think this post is bad… just wait for the book!  Boy, oh boy, I think I am really in form today.

So, yes, I love my patio breakfasts and associated writing rants so much that in my new residence, the main floor is designed around an eating nook with art on the walls and large south-facing windows with patio doors so I can expand in spring and summer mornings (and evenings) out into the backyard which hopefully will be beautiful with automatic sprinklers and if possible automatic pruners and automatic lawn mowers. Well, I love sitting there but I hate gardening itself. I may have to farm that out to some company in India……  OOPPSSS SORRRYY!    I apologize, please, don’t throw your computer screen through the wall. It won’t make this post go away. If you are really disgusted with my tasteless although… gender neutral statement…  and I was not referring to whatever race people in India belong to, nor for that matter in Pakistan nor in any other country on this planet or… in the entire universe (Oh, my you-know-who, what am I getting myself into 😊, 😊; 😊).

Oo… in all the excitement I accidentally pushed on the remote control of my car located in my pocket (no… no… my car is not in my pocket, I mean the gender neutral remote is). Now the car alarm is going off. Oops I took the remote out of my pocket and gosh, my Sonos speakers which play this beautiful soothing music on my patio suddenly play louder and louder. God… I mean You-know-who the whole neighborhood is hearing the music. They probably hear it at the other side of town – Gosh I am so embarrassed. But with the car keys gone, I pushed accidentally on the buttons of my cell which, of course, govern the volume of my Sonos speakers. Ooo… and I wanted to write about the demise of retailing and never got even started.  Life is a B.tch…. OOOOOO NO, I am again in trouble. Does it ever stop?

I better end this, but for more, let me know if you are interested in owning my e-book. I need to make a living somehow. Robert Allen wrote about having multiple streams of income and since this blog doesn’t make a penny, I figure the book may. After all it is priced at only $2000 per copy but… As my loyal blog reader you may buy it at a discount for $10.00 (I wasn’t sure how much to ask – but I guess ten bucks CANADIAN is not too bad). Don’t wait too long because then I won’t be able to by a liter (we are here metric) of gasoline for that price.  Especially not, if I lived in B.C. (couldn’t stop myself).

B.T.W. I had a lot of fun writing the nonsense in this post. I hope you did as well when reading it. The book is real though.

No comments:

Post a Comment